You will need approx 15 minutes to read this, so make yourself a cuppa, take some time for you and spend some time with me. It will be time well spent. 🙂
So, you’ve probably wondered what I’ve been up to lately as it’s been quite some time since I have produced an article on our site. It’s high time that I shared how I have been taking back control of my menopause.
When you have a revelation that your time is being spread too thin, you also have the revelation that any control you have over your life is out of control and very very quickly you realise that your life resembles you dancing on puppet strings while an unseen force continues to influence and manipulate your thinking and actions.
Could it be all the time you spend on social media? That was the revelation I had. And I have to say I argued with that persistent thought for quite some time. I mean I wasn’t just following frivolous groups and pages – although I will admit that those dancing dogs and laughing parrots get harder and harder to scroll past the more inundated you become with spurious information. Even the thought of cutting back my involvement had me fishing for excuses in record time. I would tell myself that I’m contributing with positive input, I’m making a difference, I’m learning lots of useful information.
But, hand on heart, the truth is – I was wasting time! Shock…horror…did I just say that? Yep…wasting time. And I didn’t even realise that’s what I was doing! Not all of my online interaction was time-wasting. Some of it was very noble for good causes and I don’t regret the times I spent sharing health information. It was the times where I would wander off and watch a youtube about some poor sod who sang off tune as he auditioned so Simon Cowell could snigger behind his hand and try to compose himself as the audience gasped in horror. Then of course would follow the 10 biggest truths about some hollywood legend – do we really need to know that Nicholas Cage had such gappy teeth that you could run the box of floss through them?!
Guilty Your Honour…guilty as exposed! 🙂
I can be very smug now can’t I as I’ve managed to extricate myself from the web of social media that had me bound tight but not gagged. But this article really isn’t about me – it’s about you…honest! It’s about sharing where I’ve been the past few months and what I think is important information to learn, so you can extricate yourself as well. Because we don’t know what we don’t know as the saying goes, so you won’t know what pressure you have on your life until you lift it off. You won’t know just how much stress your social media involvement is adding to your menopause until you minimise it.
Here’s what I did and what I’ve accomplished since toning down my involvement online.
I actually pulled back from most areas where I was spending my time and energy online, including sharing health information (mainly about vaccine ingredients) with my Facebook family and friends. After learning how some people are profoundly damaged through the preservatives and other ingredients in vaccines, I became very interested as it was all new to me. I was so touched by videos of people injured through vaccines that I began to research for myself and discovered that I too was vaccine damaged – through a series of multiple tetanus vaccines, having lived for decades with chronic fatigue (thankfully no more).
The intention of harnessing my time and energy, taking it back from social media and online activities, was to prepare a 5 day challenge with the plan to finally launch my online course to those of us women travelling the often rocky road of menopause.
It was quite a wrench to leave Facebook groups, unfollow some pages and switch off from other social media, but it was the best thing I have done online. I suggest, if you want to get rid of the overwhelm you experience during menopause, then one of the quickest ways to reduce that is to pull back from some of your social media. It felt really weird to start with and as though I was betraying every group and Facebook page. I really missed that familiar notification too that would pop up on my screen distracting me away from what I needed to be doing.
Dare I say we can easily become addicted at being distracted – I mean, it gives us a good excuse for not getting done what we need to get done. There are umpteen charitable organisations that will tempt us off our path to watch yet another video of how we can help. Those cooking sites will have us spending hours on end telling ourselves that we will make that dish one of these days. Then there are the news site – does it really matter if you know what disasters are occurring on the earth today? (What about all the beautiful babies that are being born?) Yes, I know some tragedies we just can’t scroll past as I used to feel like I was sub-human if I didn’t stop and pray.
So, I decided to look at it this way…I’ve been a good steward of Facebook for over a decade. I’ve taken part with my encouraging comments, hearts and smiley faces, I’ve encouraged probably hundreds of women over the past five years (some personally through message and others through standing up for them when there was a barrage of negativity from a comment they had written). I’ve been called in the middle of the night with women crying at the end of the Facebook connection as I’ve read KJV bible scripture after scripture by the glow of my little emergency lamp as I’m trying to keep my voice down and not wake the household. When I say in my post that I’m there for them – I mean it.
Trouble is, living life on the unrecognised, unpaid counsellor shelf can over time tucker this gal out – and that’s the revelation I had. I also realised that I can continue to help maybe a few more hundred women over the next few years or I can take stock and stop spreading my efforts so thin and gather my research into one place that many women can access.
That’s what I’m doing.
So, let me share with you what happened when I decided to tone down my involvement in social media, particularly Facebook. The first part was harrowing as I had to go through my timeline and begin to unfollow pages and then, the next day (I was following a lot of pages!) began my trek through the list of groups to which I belonged. Now, here’s the interesting part – are you aware that well-intentioned folk can join you up to a group without your knowledge or consent? I wasn’t aware and it surprised me no end that I was part of all of these groups that I had not personally joined. So, they were the first to go and I felt no remorse there at all.
Cue the list of groups that I had joined – now that was a different kettle of fish altogether. Firstly, I felt such guilt as I clicked the ‘leave group’ button. It was crazy, but I hovered over that button and in the end just had to rip the bandaid off and leave. I felt like I was leaving half the contents of my handbag on a shop counter and walking out of the shop! It was very tough and quite a tug on my heart I have to say. I had to remind myself that I’m the one who talks about taking back control during menopause, so I have to lead by example. Otherwise I’m an imposter who says one thing then does another.
Day one, day two, day three went by and I found myself missing those little pop ups and wondering how on earth will these groups get by without me! ?
Then on day four I went to bed with a clear head. I slept better as there was no need to check my phone before going to sleep. Wow…the world system had not collapsed!
On day five I woke up feeling free again. I didn’t even pick up my phone and, in fact, I had pushed the phone and charger to the other side of my bedside table. It felt wonderful, such a little gesture but such big meaning.
I was free. Free to finally get my online course launched. Free to put together the 5 day challenge that would introduce me to the marketplace. Give women a free sample of the course, if you like – nothing unusual with that. We all know that when we sign-up for a free 5 day challenge we will be offered the coach’s program or course.
Now, today, I sit here with just one day to launch and I’m officially out there with a real online course. Every bit of it created by me – no outsourcing, just me.
And I’m thrilled! I’m so excited that I bit the bullet and took back control of my social media – as much as you can when you’re working online. It’s an area where you too can quickly take back control and it will improve your menopause journey.
I no longer feel like I have to read posts before going to sleep and I no longer read posts when waking up – unless it’s something that really interests me. In fact I try not to use my phone when I wake up and lie in bed thanking God for another day on this earth. None of these days are promised to us so I learnt when I had my ‘spectacular menopause crash’ and found myself lying in a post-stroke ward for a week, that every single day is precious and not to be wasted.
Certainly not to be frittered away spending your time on those menopause pages or in groups where women constantly complain about husbands, work, symptoms, the cat, food, you name it there’s a complaint for it! Husband and partner online verbal bashing can very quickly become the topic of conversation and that doesn’t make you or anyone else feel good having to read those comments. Have you ever noticed how you can absorb that energy and when your loved one/s pipes up with a cheery “Having another flush/flash Love?” you jump down his throat like he’s the reason you are experiencing menopause?! Men! What do THEY know about menopause – a lot actually as they know you and want to help you on your journey if you will let them in, share your fears and tears and ask them to help you. Best thing I ever did was sharing my weakness, my need for support, with my family. And, I was suffering from urinary incontinence since my episode landed me in the stroke ward and had told no-one what I had been going through. Not a soul – only God knew the extent of the paralysis, amazingly God fixed it! 🙂
So…all my time and energy has gone into preparing my 5 day challenge – Healthy vs Hot and I’m proud as punch of what I’ve produced! I know it will help women travelling through menopause (you do know it’s a journey don’t you?!) and it will finally put me on the map as a coach with an online course.
With the level of work and commitment and love and energy that has been poured into creating the course and the 5 day challenge, I am more than ready to see a woman purchase my course. And more than that, I’m more than ready to hear back what a tremendous help it has been for her. There are gems tucked away in my course and those women who are ready to mine for gold will find them.
So…I will be writing more articles now for our site and sharing with you my latest insights regarding our menopause journey.
Today, as I finish tying up all the loose ends on the course, and ignition is imminent, I’m amazed at the volume of work that goes into online marketing. Creating a course, and a 5 day challenge is one thing, but then you have all the paraphernalia that goes into setting everything in position so emails go out at the right time and videos are viewable. Just quietly I’m getting rather good at Kajabi and finally beginning to enjoy the process of producing a pipeline. Not bad for a gal who learnt to type on a manual typewriter and worked my tail off to learn shorthand when my brain just refused to accept that a squiggle on a page meant a word or phrase! It was like learning how to crochet – fingers all over the place, stabbed with the crochet hook (those old ones were sharp) and then, all of a sudden, the brain clicks and peggy squares are being produced like there’s no tomorrow!
To finish up, thanks for reading the whole article – you know what us women are like when we get chatting! 🙂 know what cutting back social media is like – it’s like withdrawing money from one account and depositing it in another. The other account is called life. I’ve spent more time reading my bible, more time sitting outside enjoying the fresh air, heaps more time working on the challenge and all of that ‘time currency’ would have been frittered away on social media.
It is the most freeing thing I have done for years and I have achieved my goal – a completed 5 day challenge to launch my course. Woohoo!
One day to Launch!
If you would like to get the link for the challenge – then please like my page Dry Swan Menopause Support https://www.facebook.com/dryswan/ or you can join my closed Facebook group (Better Menopause Better Life) https://www.facebook.com/groups/981247141954004/
And to show you I mean business when I talk about you taking back control – here’s how you minimise your Facebook time too:
1. Click on Groups (left hand-side of your home page)
2. Click on the group you wish to leave
3. Click on settings wheel to the right of the group name
4. Click Leave Group
If the thought of leaving is too hard, then just snooze them for 30 days. You just go to the top right of the post where there are three dots and click on that, then select ‘snooze for 30 days’ and that will give you some breathing space.